I Have No Idea What I’m Doing

The whole idea of starting my own blog came from a small email chain between several close friends of mine. Since my nose is constantly in a book, I decided to start sending out daily emails with encouraging tid-bits that I had learned from the previous night’s chapter.

This was manageable.

With an English minor in my back pocket, I knew how to write, I knew every person who read my writing, and I knew how to tailor my writing for each of them.

Though it was all Scripturally-based, it required very little faith on my end.

Everything fell within my control and my understanding.

When God laid it on my heart to start expanding my reach from a few emails to blog writing, I was really excited.¬† I had grown to love sharing stories, lessons, and Biblical wisdom and couldn’t wait to start sharing that on a larger platform.

Eventually though, as I started taking the first steps toward this change, I began to recognize my own capabilities, which were nowhere near enough for this kind of ministry.

I couldn’t do this.

I didn’t have it within me to continually pump-out Godly wisdom week after week.

I had no idea what I was doing.

Believe it or not though, my own inability has turned out to be the best part of blogging for me and the only part that keeps me coming back week after week.

I have no idea what I’m doing, and that’s okay!

In fact, it’s more than okay because it has opened up my heart in such tremendous ways. It has allowed the Holy Spirit to flow through me in ways that are nearly impossible to explain, but I’ll do my best.

All of my blog posts are inspired by someone or something. Most of the time I’ll get ideas from church services I attend or sermon podcasts I listen to. Other times, it will be through simple conversations with friends and family (that is why I always have a journal and pen on me).

The fact that I have to rely on God’s daily inspiration and intervention to provide me with the wisdom and insight I need for my next blog post has stimulated a whole new approach to life and dependence on God.

I see circumstances – good and bad – in new ways. I see people and my conversations with them differently.

Everything is inspiration, and I truly believe that is how God intended us to live our lives here on earth – in full anticipation of being inspired each and every day by His marvelous glory!

He is everywhere and in everything if we’ll only look to see. We can ‘see God’s heart ten billion different ways’ in His creation of man, not to mention in all of nature; earth, water, and space.

Once God plants an idea in my heart, I start formulating it through rapid note taking, doodles, and exploring different avenues until I eventually land on a solid platform.

Once I have my format, I start writing. I do what I like to call ‘word vomit’ (gross, I know, but it’s the best way to describe it). I just write and allow the Holy Spirit to take over.

By the end of my writing session, I’ll look back at what I’ve done and see a mess of ideas, but when I read through it, I see unbelievable beauty; as if I’m reading each piece for the very first time.

Each blog post is new to me; a new story, a new idea, a new facet of faith.

When I sit down to write, very rarely do I have a complete – beginning to end – idea laid out. I usually know how I’m going to start, but have to trust God to guide me to an end, and without fail He always produces a lesson that I need to learn.

God has spoken to me through my own work because I have to be unreservedly dependent on His wisdom flowing through my fingertips.

In other words – none of this is me. I am but a tool in His hands writing what He speaks to my heart through whispers of inspiration.

The God of all glory speaks when we completely depend on Him.

I literally sit down to an empty slate and fully expect Him to show up…

…and believe me, He does.

I recently had a friend describe to me her first experience with this kind of writing. She explained that once she started, she just kept going on and on and on and by the end of it, she looked over what she had written and didn’t see her words, but rather the words of God.

She looked at me with amazement in her eyes and asked, “is that what it feels like when you blog? Because if so, I now see why you love doing it so much, because the Holy Spirit moves so powerfully through that kind of unrestricted writing.”

I just smiled and nodded because that is the exact experience I get every time I write.

I get to feel the Spirit move through my fingertips; orchestrating a beautiful string of letters into words that inspire with wisdom and understanding that are far beyond my own capabilities.

It is an experience unlike any other.

Now, don’t think for a second that you have to write to experience this though.

Absolutely not.

I’ve just discovered that writing is my way of worshiping and drawing near to Christ.

There are so many other ways of doing this!

Music.

Art.

Creativity.

Dance.

Even exercise and working out.

The list goes on and on. God has created each of us with a unique trigger in our hearts; that thing we do that is our own personal act of worship to God Almighty!

When we fully embrace this kind of personal worship and follow its guiding to the point where our ‘faith is without borders,’ we experience the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit, molding our passions into a purpose that will glorify God to the fullest and inspire others to do the same.

One thought on “I Have No Idea What I’m Doing”

  1. God has given you such an incredible ability to share His glory through writing. Thank you for utilizing your talents to inspire others!

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