I remember watching this video for the first time. I had to have been a freshman or sophomore in high school and I remember one line in particular really stood out to me. It didn’t stick in my memory because I related to it, but rather because I couldn’t relate to it.
You are never too much, and you are always enough.
Too much? Enough?
Up until then I had never felt as if I were too much and had for the most part always felt like I had a lot to offer.
However, several years later, one too many heartaches and a few too many tears brought with them an awareness; a painful awareness of my own seemingly problematic complexity.
One too many minutes of looking in the mirror, a few too many numbers on the scale under my feet, and several crushing rejections told me I had plenty of room for improvement to be considered enough.
I finally understood that line as the lies seeped into the depths of my psyche.
I am too much to handle.
I am not enough.
Somehow you can feel both of these lies at the same time even though they are opposite of each other, but that’s how the devil crafts his deceits – to defy logic and resonate in our hearts rather than our minds because the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9).
What’s the first thing we say when given encouragement or advice as we’re faced with trying times?
“I know, I know…” (eye roll included)
We know the truth.
I knew I was cherished by God. I knew my beauty was found in His Spirit rather than my outward appearance. I knew because of Him I had worth. I knew He understood the depths of my complexity and loved me all the same.
This was logic.
This was head knowledge.
We find these truths in the Bible and repeat them to ourselves over and over again hoping that they will eventually find their way to our hearts.
However, rather than embedding themselves deeper and deeper into our hearts and minds, the repetition serves as a numbing agent, causing us to lose touch of the freedom these truths offer.
The 12″ gap between the mind and heart is overwhelmingly immense, but we try nonetheless to bridge the gap and always end up with an abundance of knowledge and a waning spirit.
I wish I could say that there is a point where our hearts might fully believe the truths we pound into our minds, but unfortunately that won’t happen this side of heaven.
For now, we only know in part…(1 Corinthians 13:12).
We don’t know the fullness of these truths because we are still human beings; our hearts are still deceitful and will always lead us astray.
We only know the freedom these truths offer in a limited sense; restricted by our finite minds. There is a day though where we will be able to inhale the fullness of God in entirety and feel our hearts pulse with living, breathing truth.
Until then, rather than dwelling on all that we are not, we should focus in on all that God is and all that eternity has to offer us.
Our identity; our worth does not lie within our own ‘enough-ness.’
Our worth lies just beyond our reach.
Our worth lies at the edge of the parted waters (Exodus 14:21-22).
Under the looming walls of Jericho (Joshua 6:15-20).
In the shadow of Goliath (1 Samuel 17:45-50).
At the doorsteps of Nineveh (Jonah 1-4).
At the foot of the bloodied cross.
Our worth lies where our own ability ends.
Our worth lies where Jesus Christ begins.
I can’t tell you anything more than you already know my friend.
You know the truth.
God’s love for you is more beautiful, more powerful, and more satisfying than anything this world has to offer.
So when you’re feeling as if you are too much and want to hold back, don’t.
When you are overwhelmed by your own failure and inability, look up.
Allow the power of Jesus Christ to bridge the gap.
“Dare to be a little more of your honest to goodness, daring, real, raw, messy, imperfect, complete, and wholly loved by God self.” –Anonymous